A Tribute to My Learned Sister (Glory Kehinde Ebenezer nee Agha)Who Has Gone to Rest

                                        

Dying is the final stage of life that everybody must come to terms with from the time of birth. It is an experience that only the individual dying can correctly describe. It is found that most people are not familiar with the process of death and dying; thus making it a difficult and in some cases frightening experience to care for dying friends, parents or relations. 

The death of young people and children evokes more empathy because at this stage of life death is unexpected. Death is anticipated in the elderly by the family, and the elderly as part of their life cycle. Death occurs when the important organs in the body no longer work to meet the person’s survival needs which include oxygen, fluid, nutrition, control of temperature and elimination of body waste products. 

The death of a loved one can be the most stressful event in a person's life. This loss is typified by varying forms of reactions such as:

-     
           a) Volatile emotions and despair

-       -   
      b) Sadness mixed with relief,

-       
            c) Affection mixed with lingering resentments,

-       
              d) Appreciation mixed with sharp criticism.  

Other changes as a result of the loss of a loved one could be seen in patterns of sleep, appetite, as well as physical illness. These are all normal parts of grieving and the feelings will ebb and flow over time. 

There are no "right” or "wrong” ways to grieve. Individuals express grief in their own way which most times is determined by the person’s:

• -      Religious inclination,

• -        Cultural expectations,

• -        Social environment, and  

• -        -  Personal beliefs and the relationship with the person who died.

The journey through the burden of cancer is no mean fit, it comes on the low and mighty, it no longer respects age because in the last couple of weeks it claimed the lives of 3 charming young ladies, in the order of death are 26 years unmarried postgraduate student, 27 years old married lady that was nursing a 7months old baby, and just 8 days ago a 42 years old lawyer, wife, mother of 6 biological children (a girl and 5 boys) and mother to so many orphans and vulnerable children; my own blood sister, caved in after spirited battle with breast cancer.
 
Glory Kehinde mi you fought a great fight you put in your resources and everything, your faith in survival was infectious you journeyed with a positive and hopeful attitude. Today, though my eyes are soaked in tears I am strengthened by the fact that from that horrible day of diagnosis of that disease you continued living a productive life very hard working, a legacy we inherited from our late dad. You remained healthy, with fresh and shiny skin on your return from a US trip some months back. 

However, I threw my knowledge of medical practice off hoping you will pull through, but your night came when you could no longer work (John 9:4) this was the time when the outcome was not what I had hoped. 

My learned sister, my call to you on Easter Sunday on my sick bed gladdened my heart to hear your voice.But I am very sad and my heartaches, those ever present smiles on your beautiful face was a trademark, your vociferous behaviour encapsulated your listeners, your down to earth and loyalty to your husband was enviable, what about your show of love and support, those wonderful steps in their strides. Do I talk about your wonderful voice of a nightingale that earned you the choir leader of your church; as I write the voice rings in my mind. 

Family means many things to many people. It can be people related to you or significant others in your life. The experience of a loss touches everyone in the family, and therefore, I use this opportunity to call on the family and friends of Glory Kehinde Ebenezer’s family, the Agha’s family where Glory.

I, and my siblings belong by birth, our husbands, wives, many cousins, nieces and nephews. Of utmost importance are Glory’s church members the choir she led, the orphanage and numerous friends and well-wishers who have joined us in this enormous grief. 

We should take solace in the fact that we shared the unique privilege of being associated to this great and wonderful woman Glory Kehinde Ebenezer. Sleep on my learned sister until the we meet over the river where death can no more take any of us away.